What do we mean when we want to be resilient? It simply means:
“able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions”
Why is resilience important? To pursue an alternative to your current situation – taking on a challenge or sport, doing something different, seeking promotion or finding better balance, will mean moving out of your ‘as is’ position or your comfort zone. Anything out of our comfort zone will feel like “difficult conditions” to most of us. So, for example, if we want to effect personal growth, whether in ourselves, or in our teams, making sure you (or they) are feeling resilient enough to face new and potentially difficult conditions will help with transition to the new state. This can apply equally to finding balance, setting new boundaries or creating new habits that foster resilience, may all feel like “difficult conditions” in the beginning.
What do we need to be feeling resilient? Humans are remarkably resilient and are set up for this when:
· they feel well cared for and emotionally balanced;
· their basic needs are met – feeling secure in home, food, finance;
· they feel socially secure,
· and mentally fit.
It is very easy to undermine any one or more of these factors. Sometimes we aren’t aware of what is undermining our personal resilience because we are too busy dealing with life’s ‘sabre tooth tigers’. Modern life has managed to build in ‘threat’ at every turn – through pressure at work, never ending emails and back to back meetings; pressure to be seen to be successful, magnified through social media; pressure to achieve by certain life stages, to save, to buy a house, to have a fitness influencers body … it’s never ending – the modern day sabre tooth tiger presents in many forms! None of these help our mental fitness, our emotional balance, and often lead to a lack of self-care or a reduction in meaningful social connection. Fight Flight or Freeze are inbuilt responses to threats. We need to manage our perception of the threat and our response to it, through tools and habits – strong personal foundations.
Focusing on the foundations means using tools and habits to optimise your ability to create space between you and the ‘threat’, enabling you to recognise stimulators and threats in your day and taking steps to reducing the strong emotional reaction.
Physical foundations: Lack of sleep, high caffeine levels, alcohol, low activity levels, lack of social connection all undermine our ability to manage our threat response – if we are tired and wired we will not make the best decisions. The days of humble bragging about existing on very few hours’ sleep are hopefully behind us. My idea of a great time is great food, good company and an early night these days! Feeling optimal requires rest, recovery and repair, and awareness and management of artificial stimulants.
One example is that we naturally have a spike in cortisol when we wake to get ready for the day. Cortisol, the primary the stress hormone is not a bad thing, but long-term levels of high cortisol are bad for our health. So we have a natural spike, that we then boost with our morning coffee or three, add a stressful commute, and a never ending inbox to greet us, and you are setting up for feelings of anxiety and feeling stressed. Arriving at work better placed to not respond to the perceived threats and having a sense of control and calm means you will not just survive the threats, but thrive – feeling resilient to any changes in circumstances.
Mental Fitness Foundations:
Finding ways to manage your stressors from a position of awareness is really valuable in feeling more resilient. Finding a meditative practice that works for you – seriously, not kidding. There are very physical impacts from finding some mental peace. There are apps, and tools that you can use in a 5 minute desk break, a walking practice that includes focused breathwork to quiet the noise and many more – all help to settle your system.
So, take aways:
· It’s not a sabre tooth tiger but your body doesn’t know that;
· Develop awareness of potential triggers to help you feel less reactive
· Focus on physical foundations to be feeling optimal and resilient.
· Take time to find calm and peace, to create distance between you and that tiger!
Please reach out to me if you want to explore any of the points raised in this mini blog and develop your personal toolkit for beating back the tigers in your life! Thanks for reading! See you next time.
Becky
FERN Coaching and Mentoring
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